自由

2010年2月9日
终于自由了

对！
我呼吸到自由了.

我离开了
交了辞职信
听了一些表面，
毫无感情的恭维话
我心底彻底的放开了

原本以为会继续做到下周二
但在交信的20分钟后
消息几乎传开了
几个同期training的朋友跑过来问我
还有一两个不熟的同事也来八卦
我真还不知原来有人关心的

恶魔走向我
坐在我旁边
向我确认我的离开

他第二句就问我
"why are you not leaving immediately?"

我张大眼瞪着他
"why?"

他说：
"anyway there is nothing much you can do... there are new people coming in too"
"...and I think you are not happy working with us..."

我说：
"oh, you really think so?"

他说：
"Yes. I bet you have been suffering and struggling. Why you don't like us? you should talk to me..."

我说：
"... coz i don't think i am welcomed to the team, in addition, i have tried my best to blend into the group but unfortunately i failed. I think relationship can only built upon 2 way communication..."
"... if you think i should have leave now and there is really nothing much i could help, i think i should go, like now."

然后我笑着看着他.

他的脸部从嬉皮笑脸至自讨没趣
我都看在眼里
我在过去忍受你的话语 对你的话微笑
那是因为我试着接受你的所谓culture
但你不需挑战我的容忍底线
不要逼我告诉你
我辞职的半个原因是因为你

我后来收拾了东西
再次见我的team manager
他错愕的看这我
"you don't have to do so..."
"if you not feeling good today, you can come back tomorrow till your last day..."

"I will think about it and let you know, alright?"
然后我走了

我不晓得我做对了
还是做错了
我是否太意气用事
或者我早就该走

不过我离开那大厦时
我看见了蓝天白云
我呼吸了自由.